Skip to main content

Social Skills for Kids - 3 Parenting Tips for Teaching Respect to Bossy Kids

by Jean Tracy, MSS

Parenting Advice - A Social Skills Quote:
"Conversation isn't just crossfire where you shoot and get shot at! Where you've got to duck for your life and aim to kill! Words aren't only bombs and bullets -- no, they're little gifts, containing meanings! " - Philip Roth

If you have a demanding child, his words may feel like bullets. Let's find out how to change them into little gifts with meanings.

This Social Skill Problem Comes from Bruce:
"My 11-year-old son needs to ask for what he wants with respect. It is automatic for him to say, "Dad, get me some milk." After such a command, conversations like the following take place:

Dad - Sorry can't do it.
Son - Why?
Dad - Because you have not asked for it properly.
Son - (begrudgingly) May I please have some milk?

It happens over and over again."

Parenting Advice - An Important Principle:
Use the least amount of discipline to handle the problem. I like Bruce's approach. I can even hear his respectful tone as he corrects his son. Unfortunately, it's not quite enough to handle the problem.

First Social Skill Tip for Handling Bossy Kids:
Pretend you are Bruce. Consider using the "parenting stare" while saying and doing nothing. Make sure it's serious but not mean. Stare at your son for several seconds then turn away without getting what he wants.

Second Social Skill Tip for Handling Bossy Kids:
If you hold family meetings, discuss your son's behavior as a family problem to solve. Role-play with him on how to ask for things. Get him to make a commitment to ask with respect. Have him write his commitment and sign it. Then post it on the refrigerator as a reminder.

Third Social Skill Tip for Handling Bossy Kids:
Think about using the Feedback Formula when your son orders you to do his bidding. It's simple and goes like this:
When you -
I feel -
I would like you to -


Let's fill it in:
When you order me to do something,
I feel disrespected and won't get what you want.
I would like you to say, "Please" with respect or get it yourself.

This formula could help your son realize the tone of his words affect both you and others. If his bossiness doesn't work at home, it won't work at school or with friends either. Thank you, Bruce, for sharing this social skills problem. May it help other parents who face bossy kids.

Social Skills Summary:
Consider using one or a combination of these social skill tips. The ease of the "parenting stare," the family meeting, and the feedback formula make them valuable parenting tips. The trick is to use them consistently and never accept disrespect.

Why not teach your little general to change his demanding bullets into little gifts of respect. Respect is a basic social skill to learn at home, in school, and with friends. Respect builds character too.


Jean Tracy, MSS publishes a Free Parenting Newsletter. Subscribe at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.


Treat your kids to the Social Skills Kit for Kids with 50 ways to make friends at http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/parent_resource_center.asp?pr_id=kd011























Comments

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Popular posts from this blog

What's the Best Shampoo For Getting Rid of Head Lice?

When my family was staying in the Middle East, my daughters had no problems with head lice or “kuto.” A head louse (lice, plural) is a six-legged parasite that feeds on blood in the human head. Lice do not jump or fly, but crawl only. They do not carry any disease, but they suck blood and cause itchiness. Here’s a photo showing the life cycle of head lice.


When we came back to the Philipines, I was taken by surprise one day when I saw my daughters

Which Brand of Electric Fan Do You Recommend?

It’s really hot now and it’s so untimely that one of our fans gave up on us. We only have 2 working.  Actually, since we came here in the Philippines 2 years ago, we’ve already bought 6 fans and I’m not satisfied with how they worked for only a short time.

We bought 2 Standard industrial stand fans, one broke in less than a year while the other one is still working. We bought 1 Union desk fan and this one lasted 2 years. Then, we bought 1 Dowell stand fan because of a sale but then it was defective within one month. We brought it to their service center, they got it fixed but then the entire head (with the fan blade) of the fan flew off (nasira ang hinang).

My PureIt Excella Water Purifier Review

Last December, we bought a PureIt Excella water purifier at SM Megamall. After almost 7 months of using it, I can say that it was a good decision.

Why Buy a Water Purifier?
CONVENIENCE.

That is the primary reason I wanted to buy a water purifier. With a portable water purifier at home, I don’t have to ask my husband or my sons to buy mineral or filtered water at nearby water vendors. I know there are free home delivery services, but I think having our own water filter is still the most convenient. No calling. No waiting. No hassle.

The only question is which brand of water purifier should we buy? It’s a good thing we discovered …
Unilever’s PureIt Excella Water Purifier