This is a helpful parenting article by Jean Tracy for moms like me who have children we want to build character into. This is reprinted here in my blog with permission from Jean Tracy. Hope you enjoy her parenting tips.
Would you like some parenting tips when your child pouts with lips turned down and drooping eyes? Do you feel stressed, nervous, or angry with the pouting? Look inside for 3 ways to understand, help, and build character in your pouting child.
I know how difficult it can be when your child pouts. Pouting affects your feelings and stresses you on the inside. ‘Oh, no,' you think. ‘I must make Joey happy.' If the pouting continues, your mind, like a rubber band, can snap with anger. ‘He shouldn't pout. He has no reason.' You yell, "Joey, wipe that look off your face right now! I'm sick and tired of your pouting."
Kids Who Pout - What You Need to Know:
When kids pout, they're drowning in a sea of negative thoughts. They need your parenting guidance because they don't know how to pull out of it. If you yell, they sink further. How can you save them from developing a habit of thinking dark thoughts?
3 Parenting Tips for Building Character and Stopping the Pouts:
First Parenting Tip -- Learn What's Behind the Pouts -
Kids who pout think negative thoughts like the following:
You love my brother more than me
You give her everything
You never do what I want
Nobody likes me
Second Parenting Tip -- Ask Questions --
Take your child off the "pity potty" within his mind. When your child is in a good mood, talk with him. Time alone like going for a walk or a private dinner can provide the atmosphere you need.
Ask questions like the following:
What was your pouting all about?
Tell me about the pouting. What was going on?
When you pout, what kind of thoughts are you thinking? Would you be more specific?
How do you feel inside when you pout?
Would you like to be happier and overcome the pouting?
Third Parenting Tip -- Listen Carefully, Avoid Criticism, and Then Brainstorm -
Your child's answers will give you the information you need. Don't interrupt to deny his thoughts, feelings, or tell him why he's wrong.
You don't want him to think, "Mom never listens." Or "Dad doesn't understand me." Ask, "Is there more?" Keep asking this question until your child is all talked out and has no more to say.
Assure your child of your love. Avoid criticizing with blame, 'you should have', or guilt. These tactics can shut communication down faster than a slamming door.
Now is the time to suggest, "Let's brainstorm how you can help yourself stop the negative thinking and be happier." Have your child go first. Make sure all the suggestions are positive.
Conclusion for Saving Your Child, Building Character, and Stopping the Pouts:
Learn which negative thoughts flood your child's mind. Pull those thoughts out by asking questions. Listen well and get him to trust that you really care. Brainstorm solutions together.
Follow these steps. Save him from a ‘pity potty' life. Teach him how to stop drowning in negative thoughts. Give him a better future by taking the time to ask, listen, learn, and brainstorm. He'll build a better character for solving problems too.
Jean Tracy, MSS invites you to receive 80 Fun Activities to Share with Your Kids when you sign up for her newsletter at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com Bond with your child. Have fun being the parent.
To help your child overcome negative thinking, pick up Jean’s Thought-Stopping Kit at http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/parent_resource_center.asp?pr_id=kd005 Change your pouting kid into a smiling child.
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Jean Tracy, MSS
Parenting tips for children
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