There are times that I cry when I think about it. But I can't deny the fact that I'm joyful at the same time. Why? Well, I sincerely prayed to God before that cardiac arrest that my mom won't suffer any more. I know she's suffering because she's been calling me and telling me to pray for her that she could go to sleep (she can't sleep in the last few days and she's not REALLY feeling well).
I didn't really know that God would answer this way but I believe that He knows what's best. I believe He answered my prayer. Now, my mom isn't suffering anymore. As I told Angel when her lola (grandma) died and that she's already in heaven, she said "Wala na siyang sakit? (She's no longer sick?)" I answered Yes (with great relief) that she's no longer sick.
Now, what makes me so sure that she's in heaven? Well, God's word says so. John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son Jesus, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life." My mom not only believed in Jesus but she also served Him with all her heart. Sometimes, other people don't understand her over zealousness in serving God. Maybe others have even mistaken it for foolishness, but I know that it's mommy's way of really showing her love and devotion to God who saved her and loved for who she is. Most of all, that's where mommy found her real joy and purpose in life.
"For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain." Apostle Paul quoted this verse and it's so true of my mom as well. She lived her life for Christ as she loved to share the gospel to all people from all walks of life. Even when her health is failing, she still sought to find ways in serving Him. The people to whom she ministered can bear witness to this. I just pray that they will continue their faith and the work that my mother has now passed on to them.
Now that she's in heaven, it's a great gain. She's now enjoying everlasting life and peace with Jesus. She had run her race and she had fought the good fight of faith. I will always remember her testimony as I also live my life as a Christian. She's the one whom God used to introduce me to this life-giving faith that I have right now. Thank you so much mommy and I love you very much! It's not yet really a goodbye. I'll see you someday again in heaven.