I have two teenage boys and being a parent to them is not the same as parenting teen girls. One thing that makes it difficult for me, as a mom, is that I don't know how it is to grow up as a male teenager. I don't know this experience wise. That makes sense since I'm a female, right? It's best if dads are doing their part in parenting their teen boys.
The teenage years are most crucial for our sons. These are the years that they are going to discover who they want to be and how they are going to shape their lives. It is the stage that will usher them to becoming moral and good citizens or it will turn them into persons who are constantly struggling with trying to do what is right.
Many teenage boys who choose poor behavior during these years end up making poor choices throughout adulthood. This is a critical stage where parents have to make appropriate decisions in their parenting.
The Challenge for MothersCommunication with teen boys becomes more challenging. If I could talk to my boys a lot before, now that they are teens, I can't do a lot of that anymore. It seems they are more quiet and just want to be left alone to do their own stuff. So, I have to learn to speak what I want to tell them in the least number of words.
The Challenge for FathersFathers serve as role models for their sons. So, dads must make sure that are living the lifestyle choices that they want their sons to follow. It's impossible to tell your teen to do something that you do not do yourself.
It is dad's responsibility to get them right through their teen years and introduce adulthood to them. That is actually how it has been for centuries. Fathers play a crucial role in the success of their sons as adult men.
10 Tips for Parenting Teenage BoysAs a mom, I want to be there when my boys need me. They can talk to me whenever and I'd be ready to help them in any way I can. Here are some tips which I've read (and I would like to share with you) that could help your sons have the best teenage years possible.
1. Let them be activeI didn't really know why my boys just love to play basketball SO MUCH! Then I read that it has something to do with their excess testosterone at this stage. Being involved in sports helps them release their aggressiveness in a positive way.
2. Know their friendsIt is important to know the friends that your son hangs around with. Now that my sons are teens, they actually spend more time with their barkadas. So, it helps to be aware of what they are up to. Not that I'm suspicious, but I want to make sure that they learn what is right about things like sex, drugs and alcohol. I (and my husband) need to be prepared to talk to them about things like that.
3. Set clear expectationsI understand that they are busier with school activities nowadays. But I still expect them to do certain responsibilities at home aside from doing their school responsibilities. It is clear to them that they need to help. It's part of teaching them to become responsible adults.
4. Respect their decisionsGiving them freedom to make decisions to a certain extent is part of their growing up. So, respect them whenever they make decisions. We can guide them and show them the options, if they want to. But let them decide. Even if they may be wrong, they will learn from that. That is necessary to help them make confident decisions someday.
5. Control your emotionsI need to be ready for the times and situations that I might be disappointed with my sons. It could be because they made a terrible decision or it's just me expecting too much when it's already difficult for them to handle the situation.
I need to learn to relax and remain calm even when I feel angry. I have to think first before I speak or I might hurt their feelings unnecessarily. Try to look at things from his point of view to know where he is coming from. Parents are not always right and shouldn't jump to conclusions right away.
Avoid nagging and just walk away. While I probably want to, I should not try to always have the last word in. In the heat of an argument, it's better to let it pass and talk later. Who knows, it might dawn on you that you need to admit to mistakes you made in the issues at hand.
Laugh, Love and PrayThose 5 tips above can certainly help us parents deal with our teen boys. Above all, learn to laugh with them, love them and pray for them. Find fun things to do together and laugh together. Love them no matter what. And most importantly, pray for them at all times.
Do you have a teenage son? What tips can you share in parenting them? Do share your thoughts in the comment below.