Sunday, September 3, 2017

7 Ways to Stop Yelling At Your Kids

Are you guilty of yelling at your kids? I must admit that I am guilty, sometimes… many times. It happens when I feel pressured trying to finish some work and my kids start bugging me. It happens when I’m calling their attention, but they’re not responding. It happens when they get near failing grades in school. Are you familiar with those situations?

Yelling -- even at the cat. Image by Meme Binge



I know, I really shouldn’t yell at them. And honestly, it’s one of the things I want to change as a parent. I’ve already seen some of its effect on them. Sometimes, I ask myself why my kids tend to shout at their siblings  … why they easily lose their temper and yell.  I think I know why.

So, this blog post is intended to help, first of all myself, and second others who are struggling with yelling at their kids. It’s a hard habit to break. Most often we don’t even realize that we’re doing it. Hopefully, the strategies that we will come up with will help us to change our yelling habits.

There are different reasons why we shout at our kids. Perhaps out of necessity so we would be heard. But in many cases, we do it out of anger, frustration or impatience. There have been times that I actually felt embarrassed and sorry because I yelled at my kids unnecessarily.

How to Stop Yelling At Your Kids

The yelling has got to stop. So, here are some of the things I (and you) can do:

1. Plan for it. We can pinpoint those situations when we tend to yell at our children, so we can plan ahead how to handle it. Look out for the warning signs such as getting a little angry, slightly raising your voice or possibly shaking.

2. Get help. Ask someone, can be the kids, to give you a signal when your voice begins getting louder. This could be a ‘catch phrase’ which someone not in-the-know won’t understand, however, you will know that it’s a hint to control yourself.

3. Think of a coping mechanism. When I feel like yelling, taking a deep breath works for me. Sometimes, I just walk away. Maybe you can count to ten..

4. Understand your kids. Think why they are not acting the right way.  Maybe they’re tired, hungry or frustrated. Try to put yourself in their shoes, so you can better understand them.

5. Know your triggers. Take note of the times you’re more likely to yell. When you’re more stressed than usual? Once you know the triggers, you’re better able to avoid them.

6. Get your children’s attention effectively. Don’t yell if your children continue to do what they’re doing and do not hear you talking. Look at them eye to eye when you speak to them. Alternatively, use a whistle, stand on a chair or try anything out of the ordinary to get them to listen.

7. If nothing works, get professional help. Maybe you need help dealing with anger or sorting through your issues before you can stop yelling.

Yelling can have an effect on our children’s self-esteem and behavior. Try these easy strategies on how to stop yelling at your kids. See if any of these methods work for you. Or better yet let me know what you did to stop yelling in the comments section.



7 comments:

Cristiane said...

These are very handy steps and I believe number 4 and 5 are very important.

Nilyn_ECM said...

Growing up, we were afraid when our father would get mad because we know we'd get spanked. Nobody wants to be yelled at so I try my best to stay calm to my son. There are times that I would raise my voice at him but I want to always remind myself to talk to him in a nice way and explain everything.

Chin chin said...

Hi Nilyn. I could relate with you. Though it's my mom who is strict not my dad. I also try to be as considerate as possible with my kids. Though sometimes, I also fail.

Mayen Acebron said...

I try hard not to yell to my baby but sometimes I just can't help it. I noticed that it happened during PMS. It really helps to know what triggers the shouting. I try to control it and I take it like a battle between me and the PMS. So I really have to win.hehe... Taking deep breaths helps a lot. These are great tips especially 4 and 6.

www.mayenscorner.com

Mommy Maye said...

Guilty me too, huhu. I try so hard not to lose my temper but my little is a good temper tester. That's why when I know I losing my temper again, I just stop and think. Then look at him and tell him na lang na I know he's a good boy and he will listen to mommy. Though at times talaga kelangan ng maximum tolerance.

Janice Lim said...

I'm guilty of yelling at my kids sometimes. I guess there are really times that it can't be helped. But I try not to. What works for me is to delay reacting if I can so that I can take a moment to calm myself first.

Melgie Campbell said...

I'm so guilty on this one. But, I always tried my best to minimized the yelling because its not healthy and good. I manage to know my triggers and avoid it a much as possible. Thanks for this Sis.
www.sweetcuisinera.com