Love is More Than Just a Feeling

This is an old post. I've been trying to restore all my posts after the hack. Instead of back dating this one, I decided to share it with you for this February. I hope it would cause you to think deeper about love.

How many of you have heard this quote?
Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
Image by Oreintalist1979 via Wikimedia Commons, CC BY-SA 3.0

Sounds romantic and seems like a good advice. But ...
Have you ever considered how many people marry someone they “can’t live without,” and then divorce the same person they no longer can live with? Why is that?

Love is more than just a feeling.

Have you heard somebody say?

He (She) just doesn’t love me anymore.

But what he or she often means is,

He (She) doesn’t make me feel the same way anymore.
Love is more than just a feeling.

Love isn’t a feeling but an action. How do we know? Because God commands it. All over the Scripture God commands us to love. Love God, love our neighbors as ourselves, even love our enemies. But if love were a feeling, then God couldn’t command it. No one can order you to feel something. Emotions don’t work like that — you don’t turn them on and off on command. But actions can be commanded: “Share your toys.” “Don’t hit back!” “Don’t touch that” (not to be confused with, “You can’t touch this”)
~ Excerpt from Michael DiMarco’s book “Cupidity: 50 Stupid Things People Do For Love and How to Avoid Them.”

Love is more than just a feeling.

Love is an action. We’ve got to be wise when it comes to choosing whom we will marry – not just depend on present feelings because tomorrow, feelings change — situations change. What if your partner becomes sick and disabled? What if your partner doesn’t look as slim and beautiful as before?

So, when we have finally said the “I Do,” we’ve got to be committed to love even when we don’t feel that love is in the air.

Do you agree with this idea about love? Does this mean that if you don’t feel loved by your spouse, it’s okay?

No. Couples got to do their part in working out this part of their married life. Husbands and wives should strive to make their partners feel loved no matter how long they have been married. It may be expressed in different ways as what I have mentioned in the post about the five love languages. Otherwise, there’s really no spark — no excitement.

But can a marriage last long even without that feeling of love? I’ve seen many like that. Why? For the sake of protecting the family; for the sake of the children. That to me becomes sacrificial love. Others call that pretension and so leave the family. I may be wrong about this opinion, but that’s only based on what I see.

Lots of thoughts to ponder. Care to share what you think?


Pearl said…
I've read before in Stephen Covey's book that love is not a feeling, it's a verb, an action. However, the tendency of most of us is to associate love with how we feel at the current moment or in the.current situation of.our relationships. It takes more.than that to sustain a loving relationship, which builds.up over the years. Nice post, a lot of thoughts to ponder on.
Mommy Maye said…
I agree with you sis. We have seen fairy tale like love story but ended up divorcing each other. It's hard to tell what went wrong because only them can tell what had happened to their marriage. But one thing I know is very important to a marriage and it's not just to stay in love, but to work it out. Love will always be there but sometimes because of circumstances other negative feelings may outgrow it. So for those couple naman na think they are just living together for the sake of their children, maybe they should work it out. Because the fact that they choose to stay may mean love is still there.
Melgie Campbell said…
I agree with you Sis, marriage is not just a feeling. It all about working the relationship, falling in-love everyday, and never give up on each other no matter how hard the situation. Thank you for sharing Sis
MAV said…
I agree! This post is very timing on our wedding day :)
Michi said…
Agree, love is a commitment so even you feel that you don't love each other. You have to try to work it out, remember you marriage vows or reminisce the old days to rekindle the love.

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